


Unprofessional Opinion

by Ellen_Brand



Category: Detective Conan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-17
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellen_Brand/pseuds/Ellen_Brand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of psych profiles of our favorite tantei (and one thief) by MY favorite OC shrink!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kaitou Kid

Disclaimer- Gosho Aoyama owns Detective Conan, I don't. Cade Maboroshi is mine, some of you may recognize him from other things I've done. Anybody who's read a reasonable cross-section of my work probably knew this was coming... This short rated G by the Motion Picture Association of America

An Unprofessional Opinion-- Kaitou Kid

 

To: Hakuba_Saguru@gmail.com  
From: Shrinkguy@gmail.com

Sorry it took me so long to get to this... life here's a little crazy, and you probably wouldn't believe half of what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Then again, given what I've heard about your body of work, maybe you would. Still not getting into it, or we'd be here all month.  
Gotta ask, though... doesn't that Task Force of yours have profilers? They've actually been face to face with this guy, and can probably give you a better read. But you asked for my opinion, and I figure I owe it to you, if only for keeping me from throttling that last speaker. Swear to God, a man writes one book and he thinks he knows everything about police psychology? Bet nobody's ever tried to unload a nine into HIS head... Yeah, I'm getting off track again, aren't I?  
Okay, I assume you're probably not using this for official purposes, since you went outside department channels for it, so it's written in my own informal style... I figured you wouldn't mind, given the sarcastic comments YOU were making during some of the presentations. Not that I don't agree with you. Ninety percent of these guys would only benefit from being forced to spend a month actually working with standard beat cops.  
Anyway, we should do this again next year, if you can get to the conference again. That pub owner swears we did less damage to the bar than he usually gets during Wembley, and fights are pretty much the usual weekend entertainment there anyway. Or so I'm told. And some of the guys you skunked at the billiards table want a rematch. I think they're a bit miffed at losing to a high school student.

 

Subject- International Criminal Kaitou 1412, AKA Kaitou Kid, AKA Kid the Phantom Thief. (AKA several other colorful phrases, if the stories I've heard about Inspector Nakamori are right, but none of those are official.)

Subject is most likely an Asian Male (duh), aged 14 to 30. He's got to be out of middle school, at least, to have the mobility he does, especially late at night. And nobody over thirty moves like that, not even an acrobat. In addition, there's a lower limit as to how much younger you can appear, even with good makeup. It's unlikely Kid's natural appearance shows any signs of aging yet. Nakamori'd realize this too, if he let himself. 

The Kid is incredibly intelligent, probably an IQ of at least 180 by the new Standard scale. Well into genius territory. At a guess, I'd say he's gifted with both electronic and mechanical engineering. He's likely a voracious reader, with wide interests. He's likely semi-fluent in English and can keep afloat in at least two or three other languages. A speed-reader, he's got an eidetic memory, able to retain vast amounts of information and disgorge it at will.

The subject also has a playful skepticism about authority and authority figures. Everything about the Kid's appearance is designed to subvert standard tropes and ideas on the categories of "thief" and "criminal." No overt hostility or distrust is apparent in his actions; in fact, he seems to have a surprising fondness for the people who attempt to arrest him. The rebellion is subtle, and certainly good-natured, but Kid's MO pretty much screams a refusal to be dictated to. 

As a civilian, Kid is probably either a high school or college student, given the mobility and invisibility those two positions enjoy. Students are not considered full-fledged members of society yet, and tend to be ignored by those who aren't already primed to see them as disruptive. If he's in college, he's probably studying electrical engineering, fitting right in with a group known for playful and inventive pranks. His grades are likely good, above average, but not stellar. He's likely to be neither an under- nor over-achiever, though he probably WILL be class clown.

Also as a civilian, he's likely to show a marked distrust of authoritative organizations, while stubbornly evaluating authority figures on their personal merits. An office will get no respect that the office _holder_ hasn't earned, and his teachers will no doubt have wildly different views of him, based on whether they've attempted to earn his respect, or simply demanded it by right of being his teacher. 

(This attitude likely goes hand-in-hand with a certain interest in or fondness for American culture, where that attitude is more celebrated than in Japan. He's probably got a few American action movies, and a copy of the original version of Ocean's Eleven stashed away somewhere, if only to laugh at that last one.)

Kid's MO owes a great deal to stage magicians, and that air of confident control that borders on arrogance is probably also borrowed from there. Yeah, he's got a lot of confidence in his skills-- he has to, or he wouldn't go out. But the arrogance is probably a mask-- he's not likely to let over-confidence take him over. In his civilian life, it's probably barely noticeable, if at ALL. In fact, he may be somewhat hesitant on important issues. He's probably more likely to take physical risks than emotional ones, since physical risks are more easily handled and controlled. More than likely, he's an adrenaline junkie.

He likes poking things and people with sticks to see the reactions. Even when he's not Kid, he'll probably pick at people almost unconsciously, just trying to get a reaction. All performers are attention-starved on some level, and that's what Kid is-- a performer. He's one of those guys who eats up the spotlight, lives in it. Which means that what's out of the spotlight probably isn't welcoming. Or pretty.

Hakuba- a word of warning. DO NOT CORNER THIS GUY, not if you want a live body to prosecute. Non-violence seems to be pretty much a cornerstone of the Kid's philosophy, but some of those stunts... He's likely to risk anything to escape. There's a desperation there that is not going to take being arrested without doing everything he can to finish his goal. You can run him down, or catch him by surprise, but do not back him into a corner. He'll jump off a building rather than offer his wrists for the cuffs.

He's always smiling, and he never lashes out. Ever. That means one of two things-- either he's snarlier than a badger with PMS out of uniform, or he's damaged. Badly. Given that he's not just non-violent but actively risks his own freedom on occasion to protect other people from danger, I'm going to guess it's probably the latter. A jester's mask can be used to hide some very very nasty scars.

If I had to take a guess, (and that's what profiling is, educated guesses,) I'd guess that the Kid who disappeared eight years ago was this one's mentor. Friend, brother, father... Someone important. Probably the first Kid was injured or killed, hence his disappearance and the second Kid's stubborn non-violence, even in the face of bullets. And if he's refusing to hurt people, then he knows what happened to his predecessor, and he's out there anyway. Which indicates either a serious self-destructive streak, a goal that's more important than staying alive... or both. 

He's obviously looking for something. His behavior is too methodical to be anything but a search pattern. It's anybody's guess what'll happen when he finds it, but my guess is that it won't be pretty. Again, you don't need this warning, but BE CAREFUL. Any man who has something he'd die for has something he'd kill for, if things fall together right. Even non-violent thieves. I don't think the police would be his targets. He likes you guys too much. But you might wind up being the leverage.

... Hakuba, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?


	2. Mouri Kogoro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Onto the Sleeping Detective!

Disclaimer- Gosho owns DC/MK, I own Cade, please do not sue. Thank you. This is the second in my "Unprofessional Opinion" stories, in which my favorite OC gets to profile various members of the main cast. This fanfic is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for language and themes. Epistolary fanfic! *I read Stoker's "Dracula" at a formative age, and never got over it.*

 

An Unprofessional Opinion-- Mouri Kogoro

 

You know, Junior, I came to Tokyo to visit my family, not to trip over random corpses and profile your friends. Okay, "acquaintances," you were real clear on that. You don't actually _have_ friends, do you? We're going to have to work on that. It's not healthy. And I should know.

Okay, in response to your oh-so-casual request in your last email, here's my opinion of the famous "Sleeping Detective." And Junior, how the hell did you know I was going to run into the man at some point? Have you been hiding a psychic talent from me, or do people just drop dead that often in this section of the city? ... On second thought, don't answer that one, I'm not entirely sure I want to know.

The guy's not stupid. He acts like he is, God knows, right up until whatever switch flips and he goes into one of those narcoleptic fits. But even without the reputation or the mysterious sleep-talking, you can see the guy's got something on the ball. He's got a fairly good grasp of deduction, it's just that until he's in his trance, he doesn't seem to want to bother using it.

From talking to the cops and other people about him, and reading a few of the reports on other cases he solved, I actually have a tentative diagnosis-- clinical depression. I wouldn't presume to prescribe anything without a couple one-on-one sessions, but all the signs are there. Alcohol abuse is a major flag, of course, especially given that he seems to ignore the beer when he's got his attention focused on something. It's not a physical addiction, it's a mental one, and that's often a marker of depression. It goes along with the self-sabotaging behavior I noticed-- nobody that smart can be that stupid all the time, unless on some level, he's working at it.

He's physically and mentally lazy, both of which are probably innate traits only exaggerated by the depression. He doesn't like to think, and he doesn't like to work, but when he's got a real reason to, he's obviously sharp enough to be dangerous. 

From the timing and a few other things, I'd guess that the major trigger on the depression was the separation from his wife. Neither of them seems to have moved on, given that they've remained separated but married for ten years. People don't _do_ that... well, not without outside pressures of the financial or social kind. But you know more about that type of thing than anybody. 

And yes, he's arrogant and a little vain. Smart people often are, at least until something smacks them hard enough to get their attention. But I'd bet a lot of it is actually for show. The way he stands, the way he talks... this is a guy whose entire life is a stage. He's a character, and he's playing it to the hilt. He's a natural-born actor, and he's actually fairly good at it, too. If he'd stayed with the cops, he'd have probably been fairly good at undercover work.

That's why he doesn't seem to care too much about the narcoleptic fits, either. "The Sleeping Detective" is a hell of a character, it's not impacting his health or his pocketbook, and he's _right_ every time. He doesn't see any reason he should be worried about it, and if he pays too much attention to it, his nice little bubble might pop out from under him. 

On top of the depression, he's probably an addictive personality, which explains why his shield behaviors of choice are all classic addictions. He smokes, he drinks, he gambles, and he's a compulsive flirt. Doesn't take a lot of checking to realize that none of those flirtations go anywhere, though, and not just because the girls shut him down. I'd guess he wants his wife to come back to him, but he's also afraid that if she does, he'll never survive losing her again. 

I think it bothers him that he stumbles across so many corpses, though. People calling for his help is great-- people dying everywhere he goes, not so much. Can't say as I blame him, either. That's a hell of a thing to have follow you. 

And yes, Junior, there IS something funny about those trance states, and yes, I did notice the Edogawa kid you mentioned. And yes, he is entirely too freaky. To the point where I think he deserves his own breakdown... which is what you were really hoping for, wasn't it?

... One of these days, we're going to have to sit down and have a talk. I don't think I like where this mess is going.


	3. Edogawa Conan

Disclaimer- Gosho, not me, we all know this one, right? Right. This fanfic rated G by the Motion Picture Association. The next in my "Unprofessional Opinion" series, and here is where things get a little different. Cade is a gifted profiler, but he's NOT in on the secret, after all... So his opinions here may be a bit skewed from truth. ... Then again, they may be more in line with reality than he thinks. :)

 

An Unprofessional Opinion-- Edogawa Conan

 

Okay, I promised you last time that I'd give you a rundown of the famous Edogawa Conan, Grade School Detective. You remember that I'm a profiler, not a psychic, right? I work off as much information as possible. So why did you "neglect" to mention that said grade schooler is famous for chasing your favorite target all over Tokyo and then some? 

... Oh, why do I bother? You'll sit on whatever it is until you're ready to whip out your deductions, as usual. That was one of the things I always hated about Holmes, y'know. 

Okay, so, Edogawa Conan, age seven. Physically, anyway. His mental age... I'd put it somewhere in the neighborhood of twelve or so, just as a preliminary guess. Actually, let me rephrase that. His intellectual age is probably somewhere in the mid to late teens, but I'd put emotional maturity somewhere in the tweens or so. He can reel off reams of information, and seems to be fairly good at putting it together, but people seem to confuse him.

If he's not concentrating, he sounds a good five years older than he actually is, and if he IS paying attention, he comes across as a couple years _younger_. He's trying to shoot for "normal," but I don't think he's got a clue what "normal" actually is. Pretty much every cop I asked about him used the same three words to describe him: "weird," "brilliant," and "creepy." But they listen to him, and I don't even think they quite realize anymore how much weight they give what he says.

Visual presentation's interesting, too. Going over old pictures, hearing the police descriptions of old cases, you get the picture of a kid who rarely dresses like an elementary student. Apparently one of his favorite outfits, at least when he first started getting noticed, was a blazer and bow tie combination. Eventually he dropped that, but the fact that he wore those a lot indicates that he's used to dressing formally. Body language, clothing choice, the fact that I haven't seen hair tamed that thoroughly since my sister was dating a Marine... This kid has control issues. Serious ones. Probably related to his previous environment, given the way he's started to act looser as time goes by. 

The dead bodies definitely piss him off, and that's the first clue that something is really weird here. Little kids don't _get_ mad like this. Not at intangible things, and not that kind of slow burn. A little kid may find corpses scary, or if they're the sensitive type, sad. They don't generally have the sense of "other" yet to see murder as a violation, as that deep of a wrong. And when little kids get mad, they yell and scream, and then it blows over. They do NOT brood over it like a dog with a scent trail.

He's comfortable with the bodies, though. According to some of the cops, he'll go right up to scenes that make some of the rookies go pale. I think he's seen a lot of death, even more than Mouri-san, which is kind of frightening, when you think about it. He's got this clinical air about him, as if he's stopped thinking of it as a body, and it's just another piece of evidence. It takes a hell of a lot for a seasoned cop to do that without forgetting that a person died there. How the hell is a seven year old doing it?

In addition, he seems to have no clue just how small he is, comparatively speaking. He'll chase people twice his size without blinking-- with Kid, it's not that weird, since Kid's non-violent, but he does it with murderers, too, according to Megure-keibu. Little kids think they're invincible, yes, but they're still aware that the entire world is way bigger than they are. Conan doesn't seem to get that. At least, not when the adrenaline kicks in.

He's paranoid as hell, too. Stands with his back to the wall, watches the doors and windows, checks the exits... Honestly, everything about him would scream abuse victim except for one thing... that confidence. As much as he seems afraid to let people see how smart he is, when he gets going... he's never afraid he's wrong. And he's never afraid they won't listen. 

Basically, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to throw in with everybody else. Edogawa Conan is one big question mark. I'll make a few guesses, but I'm telling you now, I don't have nearly the confidence level in these that I do on, say, the one I wrote up for Kid. 

Like I said, the appearance markers all indicate control issues. They also indicate that until he came here, he was expected to act like an adult. I've heard his parents haven't been heard from in a while, that they just send checks for his upkeep once a month. If that's the case, I'm betting that the Edogawas didn't have much patience for normal childhood stuff. Either he was an accident, or they only had him because a child was "expected" of their station in life. They didn't want to deal with a kid, so childish behavior was discouraged and marginalized. That's why he creeps people out, too-- if he's not actively acting, he comes across as a miniature adult. 

I doubt they'd listen to me, but somebody might want to mention to the Mouris that the kid's ripe for some bad coping behaviors. Eating disorders come to mind, except that laser-focus indicates he probably eats whatever's put in front of him, because he thinks of food as fuel, pure and simple. Insane exercising is more likely; I hear he's a soccer nut, so they might want to watch how much time he spends on the practice field. Especially since kinetic activity like that's a favorite for boys to work out anger as well as control issues. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but if they don't keep an eye on him, the situation could easily slide into self-injury, simply because he doesn't know or won't recognize his limits.

Physical abuse isn't indicated, especially given the way he reacts to Mouri-tantei's little "love taps." He might be used to physical violence, though, given that he seems utterly unmoved when Mouri Ran starts breaking concrete with her fists. The Edogawas may have been violent with each other, or this may not be the first place they've dumped him. If he's been left in bad environments in the past, it might explain his habit of making himself as unobtrusive as possible until he actually has something to say. Possible emotional abuse, but it's most likely emotional neglect plus being held to some extremely high standards for behavior. 

He seems to see Kid the way you do-- as a big walking Chinese puzzle-box. Kid's non-violence probably appeals to him, after spending so much time mired in the nastier side of human interactions, but also, if he's _half_ as smart as I think he is, Kid's got to be one of the few chances he gets to stretch his brain. 

Mostly, though, Junior... Something tells me he's scared. I know you are. I'm kinda hoping you trust me enough to tell me what you're scared of.


	4. Hattori Heiji

Disclaimer-- Gosho owns them, I don't, if I did, I'd have a heck of a lot less credit card debt. (sighs) This is the next installment in the Unprofessional Opinion series, if the title didn't give it away... just one more to go! Woohoo! This fanfic is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for language and implied violence.

 

An Unprofessional Opinion-- Hattori Heiji

 

Damn it, Junior, I'm going to get you for this. You could have warned me. I told you my relatives were dragging me to Osaka, you _could_ have said something. But no, you just snickered and told me to let you know if anything interesting happened.

You could have mentioned that the Edogawa kid had friends in Osaka that he liked to visit. You could have mentioned that one of said friends was a teenage detective. And if I find out you actually KNEW dead bodies literally fall out of the sky when those two get together, my revenge will be swift, terrible, and probably have the Kid teasing you for months. 

But at the very least, you could have warned me not to mention your name around the Hattori kid. I got treated to a twenty-minute diatribe on how you have space for rent between your ears and a large stick lodged in an uncomfortable portion of your anatomy. And when I say diatribe, I mean a spate of language that turned the air blue and would probably send Nakamori-keibu looking for a thesaurus. It would almost have been poetic, if it wasn't setting nearby vegetation on fire.

That aside, I'm going to assume that smug snicker meant that you were expecting this encounter, and would like my opinion on the Detective of the West. After all, the other two profiles you requested were of detectives, and I _can_ put a pattern together.

You're probably too young to remember Flip Wilson, even if you did have an interest in American comedians. Still, to quote the man, when it comes to Hattori Heiji, "What you see is what you get." Well, mostly. Nobody's a hundred percent exactly as they appear to be, but I'd guess this guy comes pretty close.

Actually, if I were in the business of diagnosis, I'd give him a tentative one of Asperger's Syndrome. Mild to moderate, but definitely there. He's got a ton of the behavioral markers for it. On the off-chance you aren't familiar with Asperger's, it's a developmental disorder on the autistic spectrum, differing mainly from classical autism by the fact that language skills are usually not affected. And Hattori definitely presents with a lot of the symptoms.

He's hyperkinetic-- I don't think I saw him stand still for more than a few minutes at a stretch. He's got the obsessive, narrow areas of focus; mysteries, baseball, and kendo, from what I hear. When he's got something to concentrate on, he hyperfocuses, but the rest of the time, he's got the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. 

And the social interaction problems? Hoo boy, I've seen contortionists who can't fit their feet that far into their mouths. Especially dealing with women-- he managed to piss off every girl in the area inside of four sentences, and had no idea what he'd said to provoke it. He's trained himself to pick up certain body-language cues from suspects, but it's obvious he only sees those when he's looking for them. 

As is typical with AS positives, he doesn't seem to be very good at lying. I saw Edogawa step on his foot at least twice during the investigation, cutting him off before he said something. Since those interruptions were quickly followed by a chirpy comment, I'm guessing that Hattori was about to be painfully blunt, or possibly blow the line of investigation.

He's loud, he's rude, he's loyal to his friends and family to the point where you'd have to pry him off with a stick... he's overprotective, even of people he acknowledges can take care of themselves. He's supposed to be a kendo star, which probably helped smooth over a lot of the motor control problems that come with AS... but I bet his kanji are atrocious even after years of practice. Calligraphy will never be his strong suit.

It might explain the temper, too. AS positives tend to have problems identifying their emotions, and for males, it's way too easy to simply default to anger. It would also explain why everybody and their pet fish seems to believe he's in love with his best friend, but he's got no clue. 

Speaking of friends and relationships, his interactions with Edogawa are real interesting. They're obviously close, which is really, really _weird_ , if he does have AS. People with that syndrome don't make friends easily, and almost never with people that aren't on their intellectual level. I can't imagine that Hattori would be able to put up with a kid following him, not even a genius kid, for long. I had little brothers-- no matter how much you love 'em, you get to the point where you just want to throttle them to make them leave you alone.

Maybe it's the fact that Edogawa acts like an adult. Hattori's less likely to be creeped out by it, because he doesn't really 'get' the discrepancy. That would explain the body language, too. Most people, when they talk to little kids, bend over. Or they crouch, or somehow get face to face with the kid. It's a physical expression of the mental process of "lowering" yourself to their mental and emotional level. Hattori doesn't do that. Unless he's actually reaching out to mess the kid's hair up or something, which seems to be mainly done to irritate him, he talks to him from a perfectly normal standing position. Like they're equals, and Edogawa's just a lot shorter.

... I'm seriously getting the feeling I'm missing out on something, here...


	5. Hakuba Saguru

Disclaimer- Gosho, not me, etc. This short is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for language. The last "main" story in my Unprofessional Opinion series! Yay! There may be "side stories," done in a different format, but this is the last of the main line.

 

An Unprofessional Opinion-- Hakuba Saguru

 

You are seriously starting to worry me here, Junior. Not many people ask for their own psych profile, after all. In a lot of cases, of course, it'd be conflict of interest, but this isn't official, and it seems to be important to you, so I'm willing to go with it. Maybe once I do, you'll talk to me about why you want this information all of a sudden.

Okay, the subject is one Hakuba Saguru, age seventeen, of mixed Caucasian and Asian descent. Visual presentation is almost obsessively neat and overly formal, with clothing choices that are more appropriate on an Oxford professor than on a teenager, even one who works closely with several police forces. (We're not talking about the deerstalker and Inverness cape combination. Honestly, Junior, there is such a thing as taking an interest too far.) Hairstyle is conservative, low-maintenance, but long enough to say "intellectual" rather than "muscle." Basically, everything about the subject's appearance is low-key, and seems calculated to give the impression of intellectual maturity. He apparently only owns one pair of jeans, which he hasn't worn since Kid borrowed them for an impersonation a while back.

He's intelligent, easily past 180 on the New Standard Scale, possessed of an eidetic memory and an uncanny time sense. A voracious reader, he's fluent in both English and Japanese, and probably a few other languages to boot. In keeping with his stated obsession with Sherlock Holmes, he's skilled in a variety of mental and physical disciplines, including judo and fencing. 

In most interactions, he tends to present with a confidence bordering on arrogant superiority. I'm told he was a hell of a lot worse before he started chasing Kid, though. Unsurprising, given that Kid is one of the few people both smart enough to challenge him, and flat-out _weird_ enough not to be predictable. A few other discreet inquiries reveal that some of that arrogance went downhill after an encounter with Hattori Heiji. (I really, _really_ gotta get the whole story behind that one. And why Edogawa looked so damn _amused_ when Hattori was ranting.)

The subject has a single-minded focus that borders on obsessive fixation, and a possible addictive personality. Certainly the focus on Kid _is_ an addiction of sorts, since he's actually put himself on independent study so as to be able to fly between England and Japan at the drop of a top hat. So far this hasn't caused any significant interference with the subject's daily life, given that his intelligence allows him to keep up with his Japanese classmates and he _has_ no social life to speak of.

Which brings up the next point-- he's as lonely as hell. His parents are separated by half a planet, so no matter which one he's with, the other is far away. And given the social and professional obligations of said parents, he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with the one he's living with, anyway. His emotional support structure basically consists of two classmates, one housekeeper, a certifiably insane jewel thief and one sarcastic psychiatrist. This is not healthy. (And no, Junior, the hawk does not count.)

It doesn't help that his frequent globe-trotting keeps the classmates and the housekeeper in only sporadic contact with him, and said sarcastic psychiatrist is also based on the other side of the globe. Given the family situation, I'd guess that he's spent most of his childhood moving from one place to another, and it quite simply got easier to keep people at arm's length rather than have to deal with losing friends once they were made. The biracial status couldn't have helped much either, especially in rather conformity-minded Japan. Not that English public schools are always the most open-minded of places either. 

Given the subject's ability to keep people at a physical and emotional distance, the fact is that the only real friend he's got seems to be the thief he's trying to arrest, simply because you can't keep Kid out of anywhere, and the more you don't want him in a place, the harder he'll try to get in. Like the majority of the Task Force, he seems to have developed a protective streak where said thief is concerned, having stated on occasion that no one else is going to take Kid out before he gets a chance to capture him.

Best guess is that the subject is addicted to the adrenaline rush and mental challenge of chasing Kid, a rush that comes with no real risk, given the thief's non-violent nature. A loss is just that, a loss, with no real consequences other than disappointment for the chasers. As a result, he's invested a lot of time and emotional effort into the thief. And like a cat, said thief refuses to be kept in a neat little box, which means that the subject has to deal with a person rather than a puzzle for the first time in a very long time. 

There's a whole truckload of unhealthy coping mechanisms here, but the brass ring of them all is the question of what's going to happen if something happens to the Kid. Capture's not likely to cause too many problems, especially since getting Kid to _stay_ caught is a rather dicey proposition at best. What worries me, and a whole host of other people, is what happens if the Kid catches a bullet. Given that the subject has a marksmanship rating better than some cops I know, things could get very messy. Detectives, after all, aren't sworn to uphold the law, even if they are bound to it.

... Okay, Junior, I've been patient long enough. I'm headed over there, and if you aren't in the house when I get there, your housekeeper is gonna make sure you can't find your Holmes collection for a month and a half. We are going to _talk_. Because I want to know what's going on here, before somebody winds up dead.


End file.
